6.10.2010

Question regarding Cliques and Popularity in Schools


My 5 year old son starts Kindergarten this Fall and I have already started buying back to school clothes for him - which I know I am a litlte early, but I am so friggin excited for him! He of course will not be allowed to wear anything until August, but none-the-less I have started stock piling! So here's my question to those of you with kids in school...

I know that kids are starting their "Cliques" and bullying so much earlier now a days, earlier than when I was young *Which wasn't that long ago!! Less than 10 years!* How do you guys handle this or try to get around it? Do you push your children to be in the "In Crowd", do you buy them name brand clothes, get them involved in sports or just let it be?

As much as I don't want to push being popular, I want to teach good personal values to my son, but I dont want him to get bullied or hazed in school either. These things start as young as 2nd grade now! It's insane!

I am a bit materialistic with what we have or what we wear - I do not judge others for not wearing the same brands or names, but I do like to wear them myself and that has rolled over to Jay. Ever since he was born he has worn Polo, Gap, Gymboree, and Children's Place - now that hes getting older, I am starting to put him in 77 Kids by American Eagle, Crazy 8 by Gymboree, Ed Hardy and P.S By Aeropostale - Are any of you other mom's like this?

I guess I am just wanting everyones opinions on Cliques, how early they start, how you deal with them and teach your children to make friends with everyone and to be genuine and do not bully or haze others, but at the same note, not get bullied or hazed. I do not judge people on what they wear, what they drive, or where they go to school and I do not want Jay doing it either....

This is a very sensitve subject from some, but do you encourage your child to be popular, or do you honestly tell them to do what makes them happy?

So what are your thoughts? Whether you have children or not - What's your words of wisdom, thoughts, opinions, etc.

If you would feel more comfortable emailing me instead of commenting, you can do that too, just email me at:
justanothermanicmommy {At} gmail {Dot} com

4 Manic Comments:

EmmysBoosAndRawrs said...

I'm 18 so I just got out of high school last year ,and we never had cliques. I graduated with 82 kids, probably 60 of which went to my school from kindergarten onward. Which is perhaps part of why my school was the way it was. But we just...knew who each person was and we knew if we cared for that persons personality or not? But we didn't have strict cliques. However, I know my friend who went to another school had a 'popular group' at her school and to 'get in' to the group you had to basically be the group leaders slave for a week and do crazy stuff, similar to college pledging. So dumb!

anyway, I know that in my school, the kids who weren't popular usually were very poor and would wear the same clothes almost everyday, so they were dirty. Or else just not taken care of. As little kids I know a couple kids weren't liked because they smelled like urine...I would assume they were bedwetters and their parents wouldn't wake them up early enough to bathe before school...but they stunk as little kids so they never really made friends. So basically I think the only kids who were loners were in really bad situations at home, to where they weren't being taken care of.

However, I think it's pretty bizarre to buy a 5 year old american eagle clothes. We started wearing aeropostale, and being 'brand conscious' in 6th grade. I remember it just occurring to me one day that a lot of my peers were wearing clothes with 'aerpostale' plastered across the front. I think that if other kids had been wearing those brands earlier, as soon as I had realized that i'd have wanted them myself. Meaning first or second grade. So I think that can kind of cause that 'fitting in' thing if thats what kids are wearing that young. If your child desires those clothes then I think that's fine but I think you're worrying too much about him fitting in if you feel the need to buy him that stuff. Does that make sense? I totally understand being afraid of having your kid get picked on...but I think it can cause other kids to feel inferior really early on if they realize other kids are wearing brand names and they aren't or can't.

I've never been a 'brand' person though so maybe my view is odd. I dunno! haha.

CraftGirlAlli said...

My little one is younger than yours. But I say just let him be who he is. If he likes wearing what you buy him, then go for it. If he likes running with the "popular" crowd, then let him. If he doesn't, don't push him. There's enough pressure on kids already these days from their peers. They don't need it from their parents too.

RochelleP_Higginson瓊文 said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。..................................................

My so called life.... said...

I have a daughter that is just moving from 2nd to 4rd grade and I always like you, held to the brand names and it does make a difference to the kids at a young age. Even in preschool, she was voted as the best dressed kid in her class. It makes a difference and your child will thank you for it later!

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